Brighter than Moonlight

Psalm 51:7  "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." 

This past week Scott and I were able to take a get away, just the two of us, alone, no kids...OK...you get the point.  I am so thankful for our friends who took care of our children in our stead.  It is always fun to hear all the stories from each child when we get back.  Silas didn't even "diss" me this time, unlike after our trip to Israel.  This time he spent several minutes snuggling with me and giving me kisses.  I loved how he would push away from me and look into my face to reassure himself that I was indeed the one he was showering with affection and then he would give me a bear hug and more kisses.  Toddler love is GREAT!!!

As we were driving back to where we are staying it was snowing lightly.  The closer we got to Kings Mountain, the heavier the snow.  When we arrived at the church to pick up our kids the ground was covered with snow.  Not a very common thing in this neck of the woods, otherwise known as the "ice-belt".  By the time we headed to our "home-away-from-home-this-week" the roads were covered with snow.

It turned out that the snow made it impossible for us to get to our meeting scheduled for today and the Pastor actually called to cancel the meeting.  Though we are disappointed not to be with our friends who have so faithfully prayed for us over the years we are thankful to God for His Hand in this storm.

One of these friends sent me an email and commented that we often don't like the negative effects of the snow "but that it doesn't change how beautiful God can be."  She went on to say how much better we can see at night with the snow than moonlight.  Too quote her again, "God is awesome."  And she is right! 

I keep thinking of that in relation to the cleansing God offers us through the blood of Christ.  We become whiter than snow.  It is illustrated that the moon is a reflection of the sun, it has no light of it's own and in that way we are reflections of the Son, Jesus Christ, without Him there is nothing to reflect.  The darkness that  abounds reflects nothing.  In light of Psalm 51:7 my friends thought caused me to ponder how much brighter we reflect Christ when we are pure from sin.  Because our reflection is pure it is free from the filth that obstructs the reflection of Christ.

The truthes that God has shown me through this storm, and the resulting snow, are things I need to continue to ponder.  Will I rejoice and glorify God in the storms God in His sovereignty allows in my life?  If I will, that trust will shine in my heart and point the way to Christ.  That is what I truly long for!

 "In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."  2 Corinthians 4:4,6
 

Destroyed and Damaged Memories

With tears streaming down my face I sorted through destroyed and damaged earthly treasures today. Photos that were ruined as water dripped onto the bookcase from the AC unit above it. Most of my pictures when I was a baby are now in the trash. Wedding pictures are damaged. Baby books are wet. And scrapbooks are in the trash.

Today is the first day of the ladies Bible study in my home. Am I surprised that today is the day I found those albums in ruin? No! Ever since Ruth and I decided on the date for the study we have had trials. Yesterday, Scott suddenly fell ill with the shakes and dizziness, but today he is fine. On accident, a couple of weeks back Adeline was given a popsicle with milk in it. Last week I found myself completely discouraged over my lacking Spanish. I literally could give you a page long list of trials. Suffice it to say God must be getting ready to do something great here in Uruguay and I so want to be a part of it. At the very least I long to see His hand at work in the lives of the church ladies.

Before I discovered my photos I was singing "It is Well With My Soul". Now I must ask myself, "Is it really?" Yes, it is. The Bible study I'm teaching tonight focus' on giving up our own wants and desires and even things so we can follow the Lord. Though my heart aches over lost memorabilia my Saviour stands beside me to give me comfort. For that I can, and do, sing and rejoice. I can lift my eyes onto the Lord and be used of Him, because in allowing me to lose I have gained as He has drawn me closer to Him.

Another thought...

Habakkuk ends in a song. One that sings of Habakkuk's change of heart. His circumstances didn't change, and in a way they got worse, but His heart did change and as a result he had the peace of God that passes all understanding. I'm so thankful to God for song and how when we sing to Him, or of Him, it changes our perspective. So many Hymns that we sing in church today that touch our hearts were penned by the authors in times of great despair in their lives. They share a perspective of God that can only be seen through trials.

In probably every difficult circumstance I have been through I could sing you a song that God has given me. Hymns such as Be Thou My Vision, It Is Well With My Soul as well as sacred music songs Almighty Unchangeable God, Bow the Knee and more. With these songs God has always given me a Scripture passage or verse. Proving He is always there with me through the trials!

Hopefully, you aren't getting tired of hearing about Habakkuk but I need to share something else about what I learned through this study Moving from Fear to Faith by Nancy Leigh DeMoss*. One of the things she mentioned was that the thing that changed for Habakkuk was not his circumstances but his heart. Everything pivoted on his faith.

Can you imagine going to God needing answers begging Him to change your circumstances and the answer you get is not at all what you wanted, hoped for or expected? As I continue to ponder (meditate upon) this study I can see so clearly the times in my life where God has done just that. As I recall specific times I see that I have come to Him with a bitter complaining attitude wanting Him to judge the sin of others. Other times I have come to Him in confusion not understanding what is happening in my life and wanting deliverence from the trial. It's embarrassing to say that with less frequency I have come to Him in confidence trusting in His will for my life no matter the storm that rages around me.

I can see clearly now that all three of these heart attitudes - complaining, confusion and confidence - pivoted on my faith in the character of God. Whether or not I believed it at the time God is still good. His will for me is best! The first two attitudes show a lack of trust, a desire to have it my own way and even to manipulate my own circumstances to become what I want them to be. The last attitude shows that God will do what is best for me though the circumstance is difficult to bear, though my heart is torn in two, though I still don't understand the end from the beginning...God does! That is faith! A confidence in Who God is then willingly placing my life, ALL of my life, in His hands for Him to shape and use as He sees fit - a willing vessel for the Master's use.

That faith begins at salvation, believing that Jesus came to earth, lived a sinless life and died on the cross of Calvary for my sins. Knowing that His death was the payment (propitiation) for my sin. Believing that He rose on the 3rd day and is alive today sitting at the right hand of the throne of God, waiting for God's time to call His people home. That simple belief gives the gift of an eternity in Heaven! Hallelujah, what a Saviour!!!!!!

*Please note that though I give due credit to this study by Nancy Leigh DeMoss I do not necessarily endorse every thing in this study or others by this author or her ministry.

High places

"Yet will I rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He will make my feet like hinds feet, and He will make me to walk upon mine high places." Habakkuk 3:18,19

I have just finished a Bible study on the book of Habakkuk and it was an eye opening and heart touching time. I have learned so much about faith through the years but found myself completely perplexed over some aspects of faith I have not previously applied to my life. I was stunned by the idea that faith not only included trusting God to save me and to provide my physical, financial and spiritual needs but that I needed to trust God to provide for ALL my needs. I need to live out my life entirely in faith. It takes faith to have victory over sin and self. It takes faith to love the unlovely. It takes faith to submit. I found myself begging the Lord for wisdom and understanding so I could truly apply, "but the just shall live by his faith." Habakkuk 2:4 b

Right away the Lord brought to mind verses that I have already memorized and in some ways applied to my life. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1, "for whatsoever is not of faith is sin." Romans 14:23b I definitely know those verses and have lived them but now I see them in a new light. Now I see them as Habakkuk applied them to his life and the overwhelming circumstances he was facing.

He went up into a tower and waited for the Lord to speak to him. That's faith. He waited for the Lord to show him what he should say when he was reproved. That's faith. He listened as God pronounced woes (2:6, 9, 12, 15, 19). As God proclaimed that He would judge the sin not only of Israel but also of the Chaldeans (Babylonians). He heard God tell him that the whole earth would be filled with the knowledge of the glory of God (2:14) AMEN! He believed the Lord. He obeyed Him.

When God finished speaking to Habakkuk he had no question of God's faithfulness, of His character, His omnipotence, His Holiness. We've seen this before in Scripture most notably with Isaiah. Those who get a glimpse of Who God really is, in His entirety - Holy, Just, Love and Grace - they become different people, they repent. Chapter 3 shows all that Habakkuk learned of God. His song is punctuated with faith (see the verse at top).

I'm most certainly challenged to live a much different life. When I'm being tried do I really rejoice in the Lord? Is every aspect of my life, every decision, every choice, every desire one of faith? Do I remember to go to the tower and wait on the Lord for Him to speak to me? Do I realize that He will give me stability and strength to stand in the most difficult of places? Do I submit to His will for my life or just to those easy areas? Do I wait on the Lord for the strength that only He can give?

I still have not grasped all that it means to live all aspects of my life out in faith, but I do know that God is faithful to help me. I look back at all the times God has cared for me. And I have hope for the future, and joy in the trials.

"Master, Master we perish"

"Then He arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they ceased, and there was calm. And He said unto them, Where is your faith?" Luke 8:24,25a

In recent weeks, as many of you know, we've been struggling, discouraged and frustrated with, and in, the battles we have faced recently. It is so very easy to take my eyes off the Lord and focus completely on my circumstances. In those times my faith becomes very weak and fear grows strong.

"Now the just shall live by faith....Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 10:38a & 11:1) God has really been reminding me that I need to continue to build my faith. It's interesting to me that as I look back on my Christian life I can see without doubt those times God was teaching me to grow in faith.

Brandon has potentially life threatening kidney disease. When Kaitlin was three she nearly died from a serious infection in her leg caused by the flesh eating bacteria. At birth, Isabel suffered from premature lungs which collapsed and nearly took her life. Adeline has had mulitple cases of pneumonia and anaphylactic reactions. And I could go on.

What have all these trials taught me? To be still and know that God is God. To rest in Him and trust His will for my life whatever the circumstances. That discouragement is the absence of courage. That lack of faith is the absence of hope.

The repeating theme throughout those trials and the ones we have been experiencing lately is one of faith. It seems that God is asking me, "Debbie, do you have the faith to believe that I really am at work? Do you have the faith to leave this situation in my hands? Do you have the faith to rest and trust? Will you obey and do what I ask though it makes no sense to you?"

Honestly, my faith has waivered. Often in the last few weeks my answer has been no, or at best a tentative yes. There have been times recently where I have felt much like Habakkuk, "O Lord, how long shall I cry and thou wilt not hear!" Hababkkuk 1:2a. And God replies, "Behold ye among the heathen, and regard, and wonder marvelously: for I will work a work in your days , which ye will not believe, though it be told you." Habakkuk 1:5

Whether I see it or not, believe it or not, have hope in it or not, God is at work! What a blessing it is that God loves me so much that He works even in my unbelief. But what a shame it is to KNOW that I have lacked the belief and hope that God is at work.

A mile in their shoes

I do believe those words have been uttered by every parent, and this time they were whispered to me by that still small voice. My last post was about our hardships and woes, but now the Lord has caused me to walk a mile in someone elses shoes and I grieve for the people of Uruguay.

Last week Uruguay was once again hit with torrential rains. This time they hit to the North of us, we saw a rise in the water level which covered half the road, but we weren't affected like the people to the North of us. 12,000 are homeless, the government has allocated US $45 million in relief money, they have asked the UN to step in and give aid, they are expecting outbreaks of diseases such as Hepatitis A and Typhus, they have to fumigate all the flooded areas against the mosquitos which carry Dengue, power and communication lines are out, and all that without mentioning the effects on the agricultural industry here.

As I look around my home, that was also flooded a few weeks ago, I see belongings that easily could have been destroyed, yet the worst damage we experienced was some ruined books. The people here have so very little and the ones that have the least received the worst damage. The touching part is that most of these people must endure these hardships without the help and strength of the Lord. Pray that they may be reached with the Gospel. Pray for the Harmon family to receive the rest of their needed support so they can arrive here soon and head to their field (the city of Durazno, one of the hardest hit in the country) with the good news of the Gospel.

Hurdle Jumping

One of my favorite memories of childhood is how I used to run. I loved short sprints and dashes so much that I challenged all my friends, and even nieghborhood dogs, to a race. All that practice helped me to get better at something I really enjoyed. So when I started high school I tried out for the track team and I made it. My coach exposed me to hurdle jumping and I loved it! The challenge of actually making it over each hurdle gave me a rush of adrenaline and a sense of satisfaction.

Then it happened, one day, in the middle of a good practice, I learned how hurdles got their name. My toe caught on the next to last hurdle and I went airborne across until I hit the last hurdle which caused me to slide across the track. I was stunned and dazed when I finally came to a halt. My clothes were torn and I was bloody and bruised, both physically and mentally. I expected the questions of concern from my coach, but what I didn't expect was his instructions to get back up and run the race again.

"What, did you see what just happened to me? I can hardly walk and you want me to jump." I responded, less than obediently. Honestly, at that moment I never wanted to set foot on a track lined up with hurdles again. I was terrified! My mind flashed back to the accident and I knew my toe would catch again and the same thing would happen. But my coach had wisdom enough to know that if I didn't jump right then, I would never overcome that seed of fear and it would keep me from doing something I loved.

I don't know how I did it, shaking and bleeding I took my mark and ran the hurdles. Somehow, I managed to fly over each one without any problems. And that little seed of fear was destroyed.

I have thought about that day many times since then, the lesson I learned that day has helped me through the falls of life. Each time I have thought I just can't go on I've been reminded of that day and realize I must get up and I must get back in the race or I'll never run again.

Here on the mission field, and even in the States on deputation, my life has been a hurdle race. So far since we arrived in Uruguay my toe hasn't caught on the board and sent me flying. But when that day comes, as it surely will, I pray that God will give me the strength to stand back up again and I will get back in the race!