"Then He arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water: and they ceased, and there was calm. And He said unto them, Where is your faith?" Luke 8:24,25a
In recent weeks, as many of you know, we've been struggling, discouraged and frustrated with, and in, the battles we have faced recently. It is so very easy to take my eyes off the Lord and focus completely on my circumstances. In those times my faith becomes very weak and fear grows strong.
"Now the just shall live by faith....Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Hebrews 10:38a & 11:1) God has really been reminding me that I need to continue to build my faith. It's interesting to me that as I look back on my Christian life I can see without doubt those times God was teaching me to grow in faith.
Brandon has potentially life threatening kidney disease. When Kaitlin was three she nearly died from a serious infection in her leg caused by the flesh eating bacteria. At birth, Isabel suffered from premature lungs which collapsed and nearly took her life. Adeline has had mulitple cases of pneumonia and anaphylactic reactions. And I could go on.
What have all these trials taught me? To be still and know that God is God. To rest in Him and trust His will for my life whatever the circumstances. That discouragement is the absence of courage. That lack of faith is the absence of hope.
The repeating theme throughout those trials and the ones we have been experiencing lately is one of faith. It seems that God is asking me, "Debbie, do you have the faith to believe that I really am at work? Do you have the faith to leave this situation in my hands? Do you have the faith to rest and trust? Will you obey and do what I ask though it makes no sense to you?"
Honestly, my faith has waivered. Often in the last few weeks my answer has been no, or at best a tentative yes. There have been times recently where I have felt much like Habakkuk, "O Lord, how long shall I cry and thou wilt not hear!" Hababkkuk 1:2a. And God replies, "Behold ye among the heathen, and regard, and wonder marvelously: for I will work a work in your days , which ye will not believe, though it be told you." Habakkuk 1:5
Whether I see it or not, believe it or not, have hope in it or not, God is at work! What a blessing it is that God loves me so much that He works even in my unbelief. But what a shame it is to KNOW that I have lacked the belief and hope that God is at work.
1 comment:
Oh Debbie, we've all been through times of testing and stretching, and it sounds like you've been through your share of them, but praise the Lord that you are keeping your eyes on the Him, even if it is a struggle at times. I was just reading in my devotions this morning Luke 17 and somewhere in the middle of the chapter Jesus' apostles ask Him to increase their faith. Jesus' response is that if they have faith as a grain of mustard seed... It's not that they needed more faith, but simply that they needed to believe and continue believing. What a blessing that was to me this morning. Thank you so much for your honesty in sharing your struggles with me, it is a blessing and encouragement to me knowing that the Lord is stretching others as well. Keep trusting the Lord and seeking Him. :o)
Love,
Bethany
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