Ever since we found out we were going to Uruguay and I knew we would have to learn Spanish I have dreaded language school. Though I home school out of necessity, I’m a stay at home mom out of a desire to be the main influence in my children’s lives. This desire was so strong that I became a SAHM before I was saved. Now I believe, without question, that this is God’s best for me and our family. So how do I reconcile this desire with our definite call to Uruguay and the obvious need to learn Spanish? How do I set aside my God given role and place my children in another persons care (most likely someone I don’t even know, or at the least don’t know very well) so I can fulfill a call God has placed upon my life. What a dilemma!
I’ll tell you I have been praying for years about this. Just recently though the burden of this dilemma has become wearisome, so I have been praying more and more fervently about language school. Specifically, I have asked God to work it out for us to learn Spanish in Colonia the city of our future ministry, if it were His will. After having our coworkers live with us last year during their furlough, our children know Archie and Ruth Perez, and their children very well. We could learn the language with a tutor minimizing my time away from the kids.
Really, in my mind, this would be the ideal situation. But was this too great a request of the Lord? Especially since our mission agency has a policy against missionaries learning the language in the city of their ministry. The Bible says “The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: He turneth it withersoever He will.” Proverbs 21:1, I knew if God could turn the heart of a king He most certainly could turn the heart of our mission agency, or my heart, towards His will.
A few months ago in response to our Pastors request we received permission to learn Spanish in country. The plan was all laid out then a kink showed up. The safety, cost and lack of child care living in the capitol caused us to question our decision to move there. Other Uruguayan missionaries, including our co-workers, were very concerned for our welfare, if we moved to the capitol. It became clear that if God didn’t move in the heart of our field director we would stay in the states for language.
Staying in the states might answer the concerns for safety but what it doesn’t solve are the stresses and trials with a move to Texas, our kids being in a strangers care, learning the wrong accent, form and dialogue of Spanish, the cost of two moves, and more. So I prayed and prayed some more. The thought of moving to Montevideo, the capitol of Uruguay, brought great fear to my heart and I’m not typically a fearful person. Finally on the 4th of August weeping I told the Lord that even praying about it was beginning to increase my fears. I cast my burden upon the Lord and made the choice to rest in Him and trust in the decision He would eventually make.
(This was becoming too long for one post, so another entry has the second part.)
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