"Where is everyone?", wondered the handful of ladies sitting in our living room. The answer was that more than half of our faithful ladies, or their families, had been hit by the winter flu bug. So last Thursdays Bible study was drastically smaller. Nonetheless, it was a good meeting. We discussed the three lies women believe about their priorities - I don't have time to do everything I'm supposed to do, I can make it without consistent time in the word and prayer, and a career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
It was amazing, as I read through these lies in preparation for teaching, that I had once again fallen for each one of them. Right now I'm working on a church directory, a ladies retreat, a new youth ministry, and a ladies Bible study. I just finished our latest prayer letter. That's just the "ministry" aspect of my to-do list. I have Spanish to learn. A husband and children to feed and care for. Laundry to do, or at least make sure everyone is getting theirs done on time. Cleaning the house. Updating the Blog. Helping our coworkers with their furlough presentation and designing their prayer card. Oh, have I mentioned the baby that wakes me up several times a night...even though he's 9 months old. The kids instrument lessons and doctors appointments. Phew. I'm tired just typing it all.
I nthe morning I often am awakened by a hungry baby and as I feed him I pray, well lately it's more of an attempt to pray. Because he keeps waking me up at night I find myself just as tired when I wake up as when I went to bed the night before.
And though I am a stay at home mom, and really wouldn't want it any other way, I'm convicted by the results of my staying at home. After all one of the reasons I'm home is to be the one influecing our children. So I can be a consistent Godly example to them. And to help Scott lead them to the Lord, grounding them in the Word of God so that when they are grown they will be able to make decisions that honor God. I can see how much I have fallen short here.
As I examine my home, and my heart I see how far I have believed each of these lies. I see how much I still have held on to the battle cry of the feminists. I have failed to find this life, as a stay at home mom, completely rewarding. I have failed to see that the "measure of a womans worth success [is] the extent to which she serves as the heart of her home." (Nancy Leigh DeMoss) I sincerely believe that the heart of our home is close to suffering a cardiac arrest. Or at the very least is all clogged up with things that choke the life out of a heart....and a home.
I need to go back to asking my husband to help me make wise choices about the projects I take on, in and out of our home. I need to see my roles as a wife and then a mother as God's sees them. I need to be more faithful to my primary responsibilities - my husband and my children. And to accomplish all of these things I need to spend consistent time in prayer asking for and relying upon God's strength to be the wife and mother He has entrusted me to be. "I can do all things through Christ..." Philippians 4:13
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